Intoxicated/ dil toh bachcha hai ji

 "Count your life by the experiences, not days."

You live this line.
The philosophy of indifference fails to convince you.
You have decided to live the experiences. Good and bad, happy and sad,the angst, anxiety, love, loss, hope, fear, excitements, surprises, breaking, aching, healing, soothing, humor, sarcasm, everything!

Every experience is different when you live like that. Every feeling is new

 Except a few.

 You find that some experiences are repeating in a pattern. And you don't reject those. Strangely, You hold on and experience them repeatedly. It is as if you are addicted to the feeling. And you are not afraid to face it.

You feel love. In all it's forms. You  see yourself going all out about it, giving it all of you. Gambling everything and forgetting that you could lose.

You don't fear loss, nor heart aches. There are always tears which drown your soul. There is dejection. People don't understand you and you face rejection. There is mistrust. Lies. Negligence. Disrespect.

And irrespective of how many times you have felt it, you find yourself loving again. Its like a strong magnetic force that can bring you back from any rock bottom depths.To love. To give and to feel the magic. You can feel the cracks in your heart slowly healing. And the scars on the soul slowly vanishing away. You feel it. Every healing touch. Every soothing sensation.

This is Intoxication.
In its most beautiful and deceptive form. But you don't care. You're intoxicated. And you won't settle for anything lesser than bliss.

 Then You crave for more. You know that there is pain ahead. More heart aches, lies, betrayals, scars, distance...
But somehow you dont feel afraid. You give. You love. You pour your heart. Crazily. Fearlessly. Over and over again..

Oh, this drug called love! And its intoxication!

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