Intoxicated/ dil toh bachcha hai ji

 "Count your life by the experiences, not days."

You live this line.
The philosophy of indifference fails to convince you.
You have decided to live the experiences. Good and bad, happy and sad,the angst, anxiety, love, loss, hope, fear, excitements, surprises, breaking, aching, healing, soothing, humor, sarcasm, everything!

Every experience is different when you live like that. Every feeling is new

 Except a few.

 You find that some experiences are repeating in a pattern. And you don't reject those. Strangely, You hold on and experience them repeatedly. It is as if you are addicted to the feeling. And you are not afraid to face it.

You feel love. In all it's forms. You  see yourself going all out about it, giving it all of you. Gambling everything and forgetting that you could lose.

You don't fear loss, nor heart aches. There are always tears which drown your soul. There is dejection. People don't understand you and you face rejection. There is mistrust. Lies. Negligence. Disrespect.

And irrespective of how many times you have felt it, you find yourself loving again. Its like a strong magnetic force that can bring you back from any rock bottom depths.To love. To give and to feel the magic. You can feel the cracks in your heart slowly healing. And the scars on the soul slowly vanishing away. You feel it. Every healing touch. Every soothing sensation.

This is Intoxication.
In its most beautiful and deceptive form. But you don't care. You're intoxicated. And you won't settle for anything lesser than bliss.

 Then You crave for more. You know that there is pain ahead. More heart aches, lies, betrayals, scars, distance...
But somehow you dont feel afraid. You give. You love. You pour your heart. Crazily. Fearlessly. Over and over again..

Oh, this drug called love! And its intoxication!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kargil war memorial : an experience

The vastness of Himalayas is itself enough to make you realise how negligible your existence is. And there at foothill of a mountain they call tololing , lies another monument which reminds you of that fact. This time even more painfully. Here you are at the Kargil war memorial. There is so much i want to write about this place, but i am at loss of words... I mean, what do you call all those feelings? For once, I know i felt proud when i entered the gate. Yes you read the gleaming "forever in operations" slogan and the tall fluttering tricolour and you have a pleasant proud smile on your face. It slowly fades when you  see a documentary which narrates how the war and other events unfolded. And you get a sudden shock. What do you call that shocking kind of a feeling you get when you realise that this is not a war movie on screen...dude -this -is -real -war footage. And then one jawan tells you that you are standing in front of tololing and tiger hill and this is exactly w
Read more

RESOLUTION

I had given up on new year resolutions long time back. Because none of them could live longer than 7-8 days.   Also, their short life started affecting my self confidence, and self image.  And what’s the point of making resolutions which will never come in practice, right? Well, now, after 2012 is a month old already, this suddenly occurred to me:  I’v been wondering lately if I am carrying too much of garbage in my mind. Some things that happened in the last year and the way I’v reacted to them are making me feel stuffed! And it’s a sick feeling…by the way. Generally I am not a person who holds grudges against anyone , but here I am- I can name so many people I don’t like, so many places I don’t want to be in, so many situations I wish to avoid…. Goodness, whatever happened to the peace that once lived in here? Why do I keep going back to the things I hate?  Why do I even have so many things to hate? (Now you know what’s “feeling stuffed”) I feel like this more often these days. I
Read more

Of Charms and Chinars

"Heaven on earth" it is called. And it is an understatement. Welcome to the experience most people also call 'Kashmir'. However bumpy and long a ride you may have had, you can't stop appreciating the beauty of this place. As for me, I screamed like a kid when I first saw the snow caped mountains in the distance. And that was the least i could do so as to still appear 'in my senses and civility'.  but come on! Do you have any idea what that sight can do to a person who was born and brought up in a western coastal state of India? It does some magic. So to me, Kashmir is magical.  all magic begins with the roads winding through some beat-skipping but breathtaking landscapes. You snake through the tall mountains and deep valleys. The sight of playful rivers running down the mountains and flowing through the valley puts a fresh smile on your face. (Just in case the bumpy ride is taking it away). As you close in on Kashmir, the beauty of everything ar
Read more