Random Musings

The rebel in me who wouldn’t stay in control and the control freak self which would never let go were at their never ending battle. It has always been like that. I have always been like that. But today was different. Sitting in the spinning office chair in the middle of all the work the heart was wandering in distant memories. Well, very little is left of those, except perhaps one picture which appears with his contact because the phone has become smart.  

I look at the photo. That same smile. Beautiful. He likes to pose for photographs. But this one looks more natural. The expressions are more child like here. And he looks so happy. Looks like he was out with his friends on some short trip. And I smile. I smile at him who is happily smiling back at me through that phone. And the memories come crashing down. When was the last time we smiled together? I remember all those moments we spent together. They seemed so distant but suddenly they all feel so close… mind can play serious tricks on you, I tells myself! Somehow the day when we last smiled together can’t be remembered. Something is wrong with my brain today, I tell myself again.  It’s a big mess inside. But nonetheless this feels good. Here we are, smiling together again.

Also, why do I feel that we look alike when we smile? Or do we? Wait… the screen has gone off and I am staring at my reflection in the dark screen. Only a few seconds must have passed, but I can’t express what happened in those few seconds. Those few seconds when I couldn’t differentiate between you and me. My image in your image. My smile in your smile. My eyes in your eyes. Man! Life can create magic out of any moment.

And life has its way of proving you wrong. I lost myself just now. Truly. Madly. Completely. And I loved it. How I always thought that I am afraid of losing myself! It feels ridiculous now. Seriously, mind plays tricks on you. But those can be beautiful too!


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