RESOLUTION

I had given up on new year resolutions long time back. Because none of them could live longer than 7-8 days.   Also, their short life started affecting my self confidence, and self image.  And what’s the point of making resolutions which will never come in practice, right? Well, now, after 2012 is a month old already, this suddenly occurred to me: 

I’v been wondering lately if I am carrying too much of garbage in my mind. Some things that happened in the last year and the way I’v reacted to them are making me feel stuffed! And it’s a sick feeling…by the way.

Generally I am not a person who holds grudges against anyone , but here I am- I can name so many people I don’t like, so many places I don’t want to be in, so many situations I wish to avoid…. Goodness, whatever happened to the peace that once lived in here? Why do I keep going back to the things I hate?  Why do I even have so many things to hate? (Now you know what’s “feeling stuffed”)

I feel like this more often these days. I search for relief like a thirsty man would search for water. And the good news is that I found the answer. Its strange how you require cues from outside to remind you of the answers which you already know. So I was reading this book called ‘Eat Pray Love’ and came across a simple quote: 

“The day is ending. It's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
 Your wish for resolution was a prayer. Your being here is God's response. Let go, and watch the stars come out--on the outside and on the inside.

 With all your heart, ask for grace, and let go.

 Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering. Then, let go.”

‘Let go’ are the two golden words. The mantra to regain my peaceful self. I must practice this, I told myself. And so, dear friends, I have a resolution for this year. It’s a slightly modified version of ‘forgive and forget’. Its FORGIVE AND LET GO. Because though forgiveness can be learnt and practiced, forgetting someone is not supported by my system. 

In the coming year I resolve to sincerely practice “forgive and let go”. Help me. Pray for me!

P.S.   Is there too much of “I”, “me” and “my”ness in this post? This must be sounding so egoistic… well, while discussing something with a friend the other day, I said, “yeah, I am egoistic, you know” and it struck me that this sentence itself is so egoistic. But I like saying it now. थोडासा माज , आणि काय? So I am egoistic, so what? 

P.S. II – I mentioned Elizabeth Gilbert’s EAT PRAY LOVE. I envy her for getting to travel this way. I’v always wanted to travel like that, and hope some day I will.

Happy new year to all.